Matthew 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
It all began when I watched a video. I remember when I was young and I watched a video tape that I had found in the house. I was curious to know what was on the tape which I had just found. This video was supposed to be hidden and since it was supposed to be hidden I shouldn’t have watched it but as a child I didn’t know any better or did I? I waited till I had the chance to look at the tape and I knew that my parents couldn’t find out what I was doing. Now when I started thinking this way I should have left the tape where I had found it and went on about my day. Instead I took the tape because I wanted to KNOW what was on this tape. My thoughts had to be why is this tape hidden from me? What is on this tape that I’m not supposed to see or know? So at this moment I was in a position to make a choice. It’s either watch the tape or don’t watch the tape. I had a feeling that if I got caught with this tape I would be in trouble. At this point I had a sense of knowing right from wrong. Why else would I have this feeling? It’s like Yah (God) was there and that voice was trying to warn me. He was saying NO my child!
Now that I’m fully aware what was going on it’s like I am experiencing something similar to what happened in the Garden of Eden. The serpent came to me and I listened to his voice instead of listening to my Father’s voice. At this point I became disobedient. I was curious to know what was on that tape and I was determined to find out so I followed the serpent and I decided to sneak out of my room to go watch the tape. It’s like Satan was there the whole time waiting for the opportunity to enter inside of my mind. I welcomed him in because he was going to show me what was on the tape. Keep in mind brothers and sisters all of this is now being revealed to me today. Yah is showing me these things:
- What happened to me when I was a child
- How my mind became corrupted
- How sin formed inside of me by watching and doing something that I was not supposed to do
- How I didn’t listen to Yah’s voice
- How Satan deceived me by giving me what I wanted at that moment
- How the Holy Spirit convicted me
It’s important to know that sin begins in the mind. Your mind is connected to your heart. Once you have your mind set on it then you will act on it or do it. So let me continue on. So when I made the choice to sneak out of my room this indicates that I was doing something wrong. Now as a child I didn’t have the full understanding of all of this because I didn’t have wisdom yet. I quietly went to put the tape in and what I saw was something new. I never saw this before. The video that I watched was Porn. I didn’t know what was going on in the video. My eyes were glued to the television. I started to have all types of thoughts. In my mind I wondered how it felt because they looked as though they were enjoying it, so I wanted to do it to. I was curious at this point. Now it’s no need to get into detail because I’m quite sure most adults know what happens on a porn video. So I saw this as a child and at that point my mind became corrupted. At this moment I wished that I would have never watched that video. Everything that I had known to be pure was corrupted. It’s like I had eaten the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. My eyes were opened and I learned something that I was not supposed to learn. This thing which I had learned was full of corruption. At that time I didn’t know how bad this video was that I was watching. I saw many acts being performed I saw masturbation, men and a woman having sex and I believe I saw 2 women having sex and I couldn’t understand why there were 2 women on each other. I just wanted to do it. I wanted to do it because it looked good to them and apparently it felt good so I wanted to experience that same thing one day. It is hard writing this because this is what happened to me and it’s a reason for everything and a time for everything.
I had learned these sexual acts. I don’t remember what happened after that but I wasn’t ready for what was coming. I had let Satan into my mind and this was his opportunity to attack me and this was the starting point. Shortly after this I remember having a sex dream and it was sex with 2 women. I couldn’t understand why I had this type of dream but since I had watched that video the seed was being planted in my mind and it was trying to grow. As I began to get older I began having these thoughts of being with a woman. I didn’t want to have these thoughts but it was stuck in my mind for some reason. I didn’t realize what was happening so I just continued on.
One day I was hanging out with one of my friends and it was in the summer. We were out of school and I was looking forward to going to the 8th grade. This friend of mine seemed to be very attached to me and we were always hanging out at each other’s house. It seem like we were getting too close. At some point we started to play around. I can’t even remember how it all came to be. But one night we were talking and things turned into something else. This was the time I reenacted what I had learned on the video. We played around and things began to get weird because we were in the dark and it seemed like this was planned but I couldn’t understand what was going on. I know now that it was demons around us and controlling us. The evil spirits came upon us. I began to fulfill my own desires and it’s like I was fulfilling the desires of something else. Whatever this something else was I know that it was there that night but I couldn’t see it. After we had done this I finally knew how it felt.
At that moment it was all over I had sinned and this sin is called an abomination. I had laid with a woman first and I didn’t even know a man in that way. I had sex with a woman first. For this is the shame which I have carried for so long. If I had only listened to my Father’s voice I would not have experienced this. I tried to run away from what I did. I didn’t want anyone to know so I kept it a secret for some time. My temple (my body) became corrupted at a young age. I didn’t know anything about demons or evil spirts at that time. My friend and I didn’t even know what we were doing but we knew we had did something and afterwards we didn’t talk about it. Months passed by and things started to get strange with our friendship. We got in a fight and our friendship ended.
When I was in the 8th grade a boy stopped and asked me, “Are you saved?” I looked at him with a confused look on my face. I don’t believe I ever responded. From that time I always wanted to know what that meant. I had no idea what he was talking about. So I just continued on with my life. I had a friend and she was always going to church all the time and I asked her what does being saved mean? She told me about Jesus (Yahshua) and how he died for our sins. I was really interested to know this Jesus. I started to go to church with her and I really enjoyed it because it was fun and I was entertained. There were plays and all kinds of different activity for young kids.
I decided to go to church with her and the date was 12-31-1998. I had wanted a new life with Christ and I remember hearing the pastor preach and he mentioned about getting saved. People were going down the aisle and the church was so packed that night that I was in another room. I wanted to go down the aisle but something was stopping me. I hesitated for a moment. My friend came to me and I told her that I wanted to be saved. After the service she led me to the pastor and I entered into his office and he prayed with me and I was saved. It was a new year Jan. 1, 1999. I felt good and I started to go to church with my friend. I don’t remember being taught how to live a holy life. The adult ministry was separated from the young teens. My understanding at that time was all I had to do was accept the messiah and believe that he died for our sins and that I would be saved. So I continued on not really changing my mindset because I didn’t truly understand the Word. As time went on I started to feel this pain in my knee. The pain got worse so I made a visit to the doctor. He told me that I was just a growing teen but inside of my head I was thinking I don’t think it should hurt this bad. So as it began to get worse I went to see another doctor. He told me that I had Juvenile Arthritis. I looked at him like he was crazy because I thought only old people get arthritis. So at that moment my life changed. I didn’t understand why this had happened to me. I was about to go to High School. I wanted to be a cheerleader and I wanted to dance but I couldn’t. Life became very difficult for me and I was always sad. I didn’t want my classmates to know. I lost a lot of weight and you could see my bones. I was taking a lot of medicine day and night. The pain was horrible it was like someone was stabbing me. The pain started in my knees and it spread all over. It was hard to walk. It came a time when I couldn’t even walk and I had to stay home from school. When I was in school I remember people asking me, what’s wrong with you? They asked this because I was walking with a limp. I was embarrassed and I was mad that this had happened to me. Why Father? Why me? What did I do?
Time went on and I started to feel much better. When I was in the 11th grade I got into a very bad car accident. That day was really weird. I had a boyfriend at that time and that morning before I left to go with my friend he was shaken by a dream that he had. I asked him to tell me what it was about but he didn’t want to tell me for some reason so my friend came to pick me up. Before the accident I remember when I got in the car I didn’t have my seat belt on. Something told me to put it on and shortly after I put it on BOOM. We got in an accident, we hit a car. The other car ran the light and we spun around and hit a pole. The exact moment when I saw that car run the light I knew that it was all over. It happened so fast. The impact was really hard it felt like my body was on fire. The air bag hit my face and I felt like my face was on fire. I felt this vibration going throughout my whole body. I thought I was dead. Something told me to open my eyes so I did. I was scared to open my eyes because I didn’t want to see if anyone had died in this crash and I thought I was badly injured. When I opened my eyes I saw the pole. It came through the car. I couldn’t believe that we all survived this wreck. I jumped out of the car and the first thing I said was, “Thank you Jesus” I was so thankful that he had saved me and my friends. I went to the doctor and my right arm was messed up. My right hand and elbow was swollen badly and that was due to me having arthritis.
I remember calling my boyfriend and I told him about the accident. He got quiet then he told me about the dream he had. He told me that I got in a car accident. I was like what? Why didn’t you tell me this? If I had known this I wouldn’t have went with my friend. But I know this happened because Yah was trying to show me who he is. I knew it was Yah that saved me that day. Shortly after that my friend told me that she was gay and I was shocked. By this time I knew that being gay was a sin. Shortly after this I was set up by my friend and her girlfriend. When I was with this girl more demons entered inside of me. I remember the feeling it was like a tingling sensation and it went all over my body. Remember I had already allowed Satan to dwell inside of me when I was a child and this is when the seed was beginning to grow. It’s like he used people closest to me to pull me in and this is when the sin of homosexuality grew. Eventually I started talking to this girl that my friend had set me up with. My friend and I was in the lifestyle together so nothing else really mattered at that time.
I was so confused for a very long time. I didn’t know if I wanted to be with a woman or a man so I chose both. I figured if God loved me he would love all of me. I was so gone at this point. I was taken over by many demons. They were dwelling inside of me therefore I couldn’t hear the voice of Yah (God) anymore. I was doing the works of Satan. I had given him dominion over my life and I didn’t even realize that I was doing this. I was in complete darkness. I was a walking abomination.
As I began to get older I decided that I wanted to settle down. I desired to be with one person. His dad was a pastor and he told us that we shouldn’t shack up. I was scared because we had sex already. So we decided to get married. We got married out of fear. Everything fell apart because that marriage was done out of fear and not love. I loved him and he loved me but we was still young and we didn’t know about true LOVE. Our marriage fell apart 11 months later and we separated. Eventually we got a divorce. Before we were separated I was trying to get myself together. I started to experience this pain in my hip and it was getting worse. This pain was the worst pain that I have felt in my life. I couldn’t work anymore and I was always crying to Yah asking him to heal me from this pain. The pain kept getting worse and I just couldn’t take it anymore. My friend had told me about this man that delivered some people from illnesses and I wanted to see that man. I had to see him. But it wasn’t time yet so I continued on and one day I said enough is enough. My ex-husband and I were arguing and the first thought was go see that man that my friend was telling me about.
I got up and went towards my car. My ex-husband followed me out to the car and at this point I honestly believe a demon entered inside of him. He got really angry all of a sudden. I never saw this side of him so I knew something else was operating through him. He came and he picked me up. He took me back inside of the house like you not going to leave this house. So I got up again and ran to the car and shut the door really fast. He was trying to open the door and he stood behind the car. I said please move I have to go see this man. But he still didn’t want to move. Finally I was able to leave. I had been praying and praying and asked Yah to provide a way for me to be healed. This was my opportunity. All I had was faith and I wanted to be healed from this pain.
So I went to see this man and we talked about the things that I had done. He told me about demons and this was the first time I had ever learned about demons and demon possession. I wanted to be healed and I believed that I would be healed that day. He prayed with me and he told the demons to leave. The demons was talking and making themselves known. I was crying and I felt these spirits leaving from me and it was like a tingling sensation. Almost like the same feeling when I was with that girl. I was shaken by this but I felt lighter. He told me not to go back to the gay lifestyle. He said if I go back it will get worse. He told me that more demons would come back. He also told me when I walk out the door the enemy will try to come after me. So I left and soon as I opened the door my ex-girlfriend was up there. How did she know I was there? I was scared because he just told me when I leave the enemy will come. I ran to my car and she tried to talk to me I said No and I left. I was driving home and I was still having this sensation as if the process was still happening. I don’t remember how I got home because I wasn’t focused on the road. Yah’s Angels took the wheel for me and drove me home safely. I was excited to tell my ex-husband that I was delivered and that the pain was gone from the arthritis. I told him about the experience that I just had and he told me that I looked refreshed.
After this I wanted to get baptized so I did and after this my life seemed to get worse. It seem like the enemy was coming at me in all angles. I was then separated from my husband and my life went down from there. I went back to the gay lifestyle and I was involved with a girl for close to 4-5 years. I did exactly what I was told not to do. I was led astray and I had no idea of how many demons I had come into contact with at this time. Nobody could tell me anything about my life. I had made up my mind and I was a lesbian. I didn’t care what people had to say about me. I knew what the bible said but I wanted to fulfill my own desires. So I wasn’t aware of what was coming. As time went on I was being abused. A lot of fighting was going on and I even got choked to the point where I had to call the police. I was about to die. I knew this couldn’t end this way. But Yah saved me again. I got away and this time I made a decision to leave that relationship. I packed my things and I left. It wasn’t easy but I knew that I had to make this step. I was still struggling and I still had these feelings and I still was messing with girls. I was being tormented in my sleep. Demons would jump on me and every time I would call the name of Jesus they would leave. I had faith and that’s why it worked. Other times I called on his name the demons didn’t go away as fast. Why is that? I just couldn’t understand why. I was that messed up.
I knew I had some demons surrounding me and they were putting up a fight because they didn’t want to leave from me. They had made themselves comfortable inside of me and I did exactly what they wanted me to do. It’s like I was fulfilling their desires it’s like I had no control. I was possessed once again.
So time went on and I wanted to get completely away from that lifestyle but I still was holding on to it. One day I started to read about demonic strongholds and I discovered more about demonic possessions. The more and more I researched I learned what was happening to me. I had allowed these demons to enter back inside of me. My thoughts were I had to get them out of me. But days went on and it’s like the enemy knew what I was trying to do. My ex-girlfriend tried to get back with me and she was trying to tell me that it was ok to be gay and that being gay was not a sin. It’s like she was twisting the words in the bible. She was trying to deceive me but I was not going to fall for this anymore. So I continued to pray and study. Finally one day I surrendered my life to Yah. And I was delivered again. The same man he used to deliver me the first time was the same man he used to deliver me the second time. Yah had set me free from homosexuality. I will NEVER go back. I have learned so many lessons and it was a big fight at the end. I know Yahshua and his army was present when I was being delivered. I went through a 7 day process and it was tough and my mind had to be renewed. During this time I heard Yah’s voice again as if I was being reunited. I had multiple visions and dreams during this time. I was caught up in the spirit and I experience so many things. I was sent here for a reason and I had to complete my mission. I remember seeing myself fly back to the earth. Today marks 3 years since the day that I surrendered and I praise the Most High and I thank Yahshua all the times for saving me.
He loved me even when I was disobedient. He taught me a lesson and I know that he does not play. My passion is to learn as much as I possibly can. I had spent a lot of time away from him and now I am spending most of my time with him. I love Yah and his commandments. I have been on this amazing journey with Yah and he continues to transform me. If you have struggled with sin it is demons associated with every sin. Some are stronger than others because it depends on your addictions. You can be set free from sin. You must have faith and you must believe in Yahshua. You have to know what’s right from wrong. Demons will try to control you but you have to seek the truth and the truth shall set you free. If you are in too deep it is a very dangerous thing because some of these demons will try to kill you. Turn away from sin NOW. Don’t feed the sin because if you do it will continue to grow. In order to get rid of it you must starve it. Do away with it and remove yourself from people that participate in sin. Get far away from them because they will try to tell you it’s not a sin and that’s with any sin. Study the Word and seek Yah on these matters because there are too many demons out here that are trying to find a home to dwell in. Destroy the enemy and put your armor of God on. This is my testimony brothers and sisters. Shalom! All Glory to the Most High! HalleluYah! Thank you Yahshua.
Written by Sister Carter