The Shadow Self: The Negative Aspect of Self


Shalom Brothers and Sisters. I wanted to talk about an experience that I had last night but before I get into that I want to share some other things. On December 21, 2015 I was reflecting on a lot of things that has happened in my life and these things were all negative experiences. I wanted to understand why I have experienced so many negative things in my life. I searched deep within my mind and all my past memories resurfaced. I became very emotional and I became attached to those memories. I became angry, confused, hurt and I started to cry. I realized that I have experienced a lot of pain, suffering and heartache.

After reflecting on all of my negative experiences I became very sad and depressed. I was now operating on a low level of consciousness. I allowed myself to descend from a level of high consciousness to a level of low consciousness. I was dwelling in a realm of darkness in my mind. As the day went by my mood continued to change. Now this brings me to my experience. I went to sleep and I woke up around 3 am. Then I finally went back to sleep after a while. I suddenly opened my eyes and I saw that I was still in my room but I was in another realm or dimension. While I was laying in the bed I felt a presence behind me and I didn’t want to turn around.

Fear entered inside of my mind because I didn’t know who was laying behind me. My blanket was pulled slightly over my head and this spirit pulled the blanket off of my head and I heard a strange buzzing sound coming from this spirit. I don’t recall what the spirit was saying but it seemed like this spirit was whispering a message in my ears. I couldn’t understand the message so I immediately assumed that it was a demon. I thought the demon was there to attack me. I immediately rebuked the spirit in the name of Yahshua because I was afraid and then I woke up.

I looked around and I envisioned myself pulling out a sword to slay the demon because I thought it was an attack and I had to protect myself.  I was in warrior mode until I thought about all the memories that I was depressed about before I went to sleep. I realized that I brought this upon myself because I went down memory lane. I descended to the realm of low consciousness and my mind was in a dark state because I was thinking negative. I came face to face with my shadow self (negative aspect of self). I was the one thinking negatively and I allowed myself to be emotionally attached to past memories. At this point I realized that I manifested this experience by my own thoughts.

The memories that I remembered were things that made me sad and depressed and I cried out and asked Yah, “What am I doing wrong? Why does it seem like bad things keep happening to me? When will I receive blessings? It’s been 3 1/2 years since I have surrendered my life to Yah and even though Yah has blessed me with much wisdom I still struggle at times and still can’t understand why he chose me. I’m still learning and seeking understanding from Yah and I’m trying my best to lean not upon my own understanding but some times it’s hard. I know my Father wants me to be more positive but there are times when I am discouraged.

I believe my shadow self (the negative aspect of myself) was revealed to  me in that dream. I have realized that I need to release all negative thoughts and accept all the things that have happened in my life because everything happens for a reason. Once I let it go I can move forward instead of bringing myself down by circling my own negative thoughts. If I don’t let it go then it will be harmful to me and I definitely don’t want that.  I created this whole experience with my negative thinking and because of this I met my shadow self.

I have learned that the shadow self is mainly composed of suppressed negative emotions, desires and feelings which we experience. Its like the dark image of self. It’s like the Satan aspect of you because the shadow self feeds on discouragement, depression, fears and doubts.

All thoughts are eventually manifested so be careful with your thinking. The mind is very powerful and it can create a reality in another realm. All day yesterday I was thinking negative which caused me to temporarily descend into a low realm of consciousness.  I guess I was supposed to experience this so I can share more about the realm of low consciousness since I am on my journey to obtaining wisdom about the mind. After I had this experience I went back to sleep and I kept waking up vibrating. I went in and out of these vibrations for a while until I was able to go back to sleep. My whole body was vibrating and it felt like electrical currents flowing through my body. The vibrations were fast and intense so it is possible that I was raising my vibration frequency and I ascended back up to the realm of high consciousness. Then I had a another dream and I saw that it was raining and storming outside. In the dream I was aware that I had caused the stormy weather due to my intense vibrations. All I can say is that the mind is very powerful. Traveling through the different realms of the mind is amazing.

Written by Sister Carter

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